dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
