woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
