she was so not down for the gang bang
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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