I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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