i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
is it fun? or sober?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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