Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I will pee on everything he values.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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