it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
