Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
