So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
