no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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