theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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