you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
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