They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
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