just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
i need some magic done to my vagina
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
