Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
