She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
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