My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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