He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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