Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
