just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
