Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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