another moral hangover. fuck.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
