um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Randomize
