office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
