is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
