Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
