best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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