I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
