I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
You're like the curious george of whores
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
