dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
