I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
