i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
is that a dick in a sweater?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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