just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
