So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
