It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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