can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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