The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
