you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
farters have to be the big spoon...
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
