Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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