So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
