What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
