If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
