I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
