I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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