After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Tornado booty call.. dedication
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Randomize
