Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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