you have to choose: penises or morals?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Randomize
