I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
