separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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