You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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