Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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